Ferber

So, Blake has officially been sleep trained successfully. I feel bad about this whole thing but it worked and I am trying to keep that in mind. There are plenty of people that I talk to that tell me I have to let him cry, and I have to make him do basically whatever it is I want him to do. Then there are just as many people who say that you should only do what the baby wants and they would never make their child do something they don't want to. So of course this makes me feel guilty (but really what doesn't?).

We started last week by moving Blake's bassinet into his crib, so he was still sleeping swaddled with towels on either side of him in the bassinet. He did that for two nights. Then on Friday night we started doing what Ferber recommends which is to establish a bedtime routine (we already had done that awhile ago)then lay him in his crib drowsy but awake and leave. I should have taken his binky away buy I couldn't do it so he still gets it but we don't put it back in once it falls out. After we left he was quiet for a few minutes then started to cry. After three minutes of crying I went in to try and soothe him but not pick him up. It was incredibly hard, I was able to resist picking him up even though he cried a lot more when he saw me but I wasn't able to resist giving him his binky. So he cried for another five minutes and I had Ryan go in, Blake wouldn't stop crying for Ryan either but at least we let him know we where there. Then Ryan was to go in in another five minutes but Blake feel asleep. We were both amazed at how fast he settled down. He did wake up three times that night, the first one he cried for 30 minutes and the other two he cried for maybe 15 minutes so one of us (usually Ryan because he was better about following the "rules") went in so Blake knew we where there and he wasn't alone. Then he slept until almost eight.

Every night since then he has gone down with out crying AT ALL! I can't believe it. Every night he just goes right to sleep. The last couple of nights he has cried but he never cries for more then a minute and goes back to sleep, unless he is hungry. He even slept in his pack-n-play for his Aunt Shannon today. So the next thing is to work on his schedule and get his naps on track. I think that they will be easy to do once I figure out what I want to do about them. Everyone in the house, including George, is getting a lot better sleep. I am glad that we finally made the switch.

Bunny Rabbit

1st Tooth

Blake has been sick since last Friday night. He has had a fever off and on and a horrible cough, so we decided to take him into urgent care tonight when he had another fever. While we were waiting for the doctor to come in Ryan found his first tooth! I was super excited, I thought he was teething but you never really know until a tooth actually comes in. It is still hard to see but you can feel it. We also found out he has his first ear infection. I was really hoping he would go his first 6 months without getting sick other then the cold he had awhile back but we didn't quite make it. But at least we have some medication to help him feel better.

Unfortunately this whole being sick thing has delayed moving into our own room and into the crib. I am hoping by this weekend he will be feeling better and we can start the move. He is really getting too big for the bassinet and it's just not safe anymore.

PPA

I have postpartum anxiety; I feel like everybody already knows this but I am not sure who I have actually told. I have had anxiety for years and have learned different ways to deal with it but until now I never realized just how I dealt with it. Having a baby, a demanding baby at that, really shows you just what your life is all about. I really really like control. I am sure most people that now me probably think that is very obvious but I never realized just how much I controlled everything in my life until I couldn't control any of it.

I will say that PPA and PPD (postpartum depression) are nothing like having anxiety or depression not related to pregnancy. It feels so much more irrational then anything I have had to deal with before. For me I am so afraid that Blake is going to get hurt, die or have some sort of irreversible issue that will effect him for the rest of his life. For the first two weeks that we had him home I couldn't sleep because I was certain he was going to stop breathing. It got easier the older he got, now I feel like he is ok but I don't know what I am going to do when he goes into his own room. I won't be able to just know he is ok, he will be several feet and two doors away. What if the monitor doesn't work? What if I don't wake up? or he gets caught in the crib or something?

I try not to worry so much but it is really hard. I can't just change what I am doing and know that Blake will change too and I can stop worrying. I can't avoid putting him to sleep like I might avoid a situation that I don't feel comfortable with. At first it really bothered me to know I was having a hard time dealing with everything, but I am feeling better about it know. I am doing things to make the situation better and it is helping. I just hope that one day I can go back to not needing extra help. I don't care when that happens as long as it is sometime in the future. To me it is way more important to do whatever I have to do to provide Blake with the best life or situation possible. If I have to do something I wouldn't necessarily do on my own but it helps him out then its totally worth it.

5 Months

We have been super busy the last couple of weeks. We moved to a new place on top of everything else we have going on. Plus Blake turned 5 months! He is getting more and more fun every day. All of a sudden he has interest in playing, he grabs his toys and sucks on EVERYTHING! He loves to chew on fabric, his blankets, burp cloths anything. He is an expert at rolling over and is working so hard to sit up. He is great at sitting assisted and can sit on his own for around 20 seconds or so. We keep practicing to try and strengthen up those muscles.

We decided to up his foods because he has been having a hard time staying full, so the doctor suggested we try foods more often. She also gave us the ok to try stage 2 foods. Blake has also been trying to grab my food and drinks so we are trying finger foods too. So far he just looks at them and tries to pick it up but can't get it to his mouth. Besides if I put it in there he spits it out because he doesn't like the texture. So far he has tried to pick up peaches, pears, avocados and some organic cereal puffs. This week he finished trying out apples which is a stage one food. Then we tried green beans, turkey, and prunes. Prunes are also stage one but the rest are stage two. We will likely try chicken this weekend and some other fruits like blueberries and apricots. We are still doing purees until he is older and shows more interest and ability to pick up foods then I hope to move on to mostly finger foods. We ordered a book about feeding babies that I hope to get in the mail early next week. The doctor said there was some pretty good meals in there for us to try. Other then the fruit I gave him for finger foods Blake has still only had organic food. I am hoping to keep it up and make time to get some organic fresh fruit this week for myself so I can offer it to him as well.

We also started reading Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems by Dr. Ferber. I haven't gotten to far in it yet but so far it gives a lot of information about sleeping and sleep cycles. I may even learn how to take care of my own sleep problems with this book. Blake actually is only centimeters away from touching the top and bottom of his bassinet. There is no room in our bedroom for his bed so he will likely move into his room very soon. I am not ready for this at all and don't know how I am going to sleep with him in the other room. It makes me so nervous to even think that I won't be in the room while he is sleeping but I really have no choice at this point. I would have liked to wait until 6 months but I don't think he will make it that long in his current "bed". This afternoon I let him "fuss it out" and he has been taking a nap in the pack and play so maybe he will be able to learn to sleep in his crib too. Of course now we just need to get his father to put it together....

This week Blake also got to go to the park for the first time. He LOVED it. He went to the "bus park" with the kids and tried out the merry-go-round, the bouncing sheep and dog, and the bus. Today we went to Elver park and he tried a slide, we bounced on the bridge, and we tried out the swing together. He also loved watching all the traffic and feeling the wind blow his hair. I can't wait until he can sit up and we can play on more of the equipment. I also bought him a swimsuit today so we can hopefully go for a swim soon. It has pirate ships all over it, I wanted to buy the matching hat but it wasn't big enough. I may get him into swim lessons after his 6 month birthday but I need to check out the price first. Unfortunately the weather isn't suppose to be that nice this weekend but I am hoping it gets back to being warm again soon so we can keep going to parks to play and the dog parks with George.

If only this happened every day...

Time

I wish I could stop time and catch up on everything I need to do. We are moving in one week and nothing is packed. I have so much to do for my classwork and I have spent time that I really need to be doing for other things to keep up with it. I haven't seen much of my family this week trying to get everything done. I have never had a hard time with time management before so I have a hard time understanding why this is so hard right now. I hope to get through, but April really has me nervous; we have a LOT of things going on then. I just keep looking forward to May then things should settle down a bit. I just hope I can make until then.



Maybe if we could get a little more of this....